You may or may not have the fortune or misfortune of reading this right now.

Most likely, it is the later.

I currently write to you from a liferaft floating in the Arctic Ocean, as I am fleeing the CIA. I suppose now would be a time to warn you, that they are monitoring this page. O_o

At any rate, the pie is mine. I am guarding it.

I like a lot of things. Some things I don't like include babies, clowns, hobby horses, socks, shoes, large hair, walruses, teletubbies, teletubby zombies, midwesterners, normal people, jobs, schools, houses, businesses, pharmaceutical companies, doctors, lawyers, dentists, feminine persons, sunlight, police officers, not pie, happy people, and human beings. There is a heirarchy of most despised, to this list. NOTE YOUR PLACE!! (o

Some things I like include firecrackers, fire, volcanos, danger, those yellow YIELD signs, winding roadways, sunset, nighttime, clouds, rain, the colors black, red, and orange, monkeys, Darth Vader, Batman, Lemony Snicket's books, Tim Burton's weirdness, and 80's rock. The Pixies and the Dead Kennedys are my favorite bands.

Now that I have severely alarmed you, I suggest you seek some other place of worship. Go forth and multiply. >,>